Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Exhausted of Explaining

Something odd happened on Friday night when I was out for Korean BBQ with around 15 people, some of whom I knew and some of whom I was meeting for the first time.  Before the food arrived I excused myself to the rest room, tested my blood sugar and pumped off before returning to the table.  One thing I have never done is felt the need to hide my diabetes; I wouldn't help out Triabetes or blog if that was the case.  Rather dating new people, working in a new place and meeting new people has caused me to explain how I compete in triathlon, how I developed type 1 at 27, describe the difference between type 1 and type 2 and explain that juvenile diabetes is the same as type 1 and that it doesn't go away just because you grow up so many times over the past month and 1/2 I just couldn't do it one more time.

Explanation fatigue; I'm sure this is a universal trend for anyone who deals with something that is a bit different than the person sitting next to you.  There comes a point where you just don't feel like talking about "it," whatever "it," may be anymore.  As understandable as it is that I wanted a night where I didn't have to have "the conversation," my decision to test and bolus away from the table really surprised me.  I guess sometimes everyone just needs a vacation from the things they are forced to focus on daily.


JulyDream said...

New cities are hard for so many reasons. While it's exciting to meet new people, there's something hard about it too. You miss the level of comfort that comes with someone knowing things about you and not always having to explain who you are. Don't worry too much about this decision. Sometimes we feel the need to do things we can't explain. **HUGS**

Airman47 said...

I could see why you wouldn't want to explain. Such a bad stigma associated with diabetes. I would be nervous, too!

Hope you are feeling better soon.