Monday, August 16, 2010

Obituary: Original Purple Pancreas



On August 16th at approximately 4:10pm on the 5th floor of 60 East 56th street in Manhattan the Original Purple Pancreas experienced a fatal button error. After numerous attempts to revive the Original Purple Pancreas through a series of battery changes, rapid button pushing and the seldom effective slap on the side, Minimed Paramedics called time of death.  The Original Purple Pancreas was born on June 12th, 2007, lived a full life and is survived by 6 boxes of infusion sets, 5 boxes of reservoirs and 17 needle marks on Ed L’s posterior.

The Original Purple Pancreas truly gave life to all those he came in contact with.  The Original Purple Pancreas was a warrior insulin pump having survived two Ironman triathlons, including one in the pouring rain, five half-iron, 2 Olympic and 1 sprint triathlon.  The Original Purple Pancreas was no stranger to foreign cultures having visited Costa Rica, Sweden and Denmark as well as spending time in no less than 15 US States.      

OPP three times survived extensive security screenings at airports and was known to perilously detach himself from the safety of its belt clip to dangle life and limb from nothing but an infusion site tube; OPP was truly a thrill seeker.  OPP with a series of beeps, calculations and corrections was always fond of low glycemic foods but gave its best to counteract the sugar spike of the occasional pizza. OPP unfortunately never was able to achieve its life’s dream of testing its carbohydrate counteracting abilities versus Wylie Dufresne’s molecular gastronomy however. OPP’s last great triumph over blood sugars was at Jonathan Waxman’s Barbutto, 6 days before OPP’s passing.

OPP will sorely be missed by those he supported and allowed to thrive.  On countless bike rides, through questionable placement during debaucherious pursuits, and steadfastly fighting the fight against type 1 diabetes OPP was always there.  He will be most fondly remembered for his remarkable ability to face carbohydrates and allow those he supported to live their life to the fullest. 

Tribute to Original Purple Pancreas will be paid during his long lost twin brother’s first priming on June 17th, 2010 at 10:30 am in Upstate NY.  Sarah McLachlan’s I Will Remember You will be played during priming simultaneously on all connected Itunes libraries at that time.

5 comments:

Lauren B said...

This was a hilarious post! I can't believe I don't see more comments. I'm sorry about its death.

Lindsay said...

No way!!!

That's too weird. My purple insulin pump died of a fatal button error yesterday (May PIP rest in peace). I smell a conspiracy....

You can read about my pump drama on my blog. I'm curious to know how long it takes you to get a human on the phone at Medtronic. It took me 45 minutes. Let me know!

Until then, good luck with being no strings attached for a while.

Nancy said...

That was one funny post! RIP Purple Pancreas.

Lynn said...

Rediculous haha.

May it RIP in the backyard next to fluffy.

mao said...

Love the post- I to pick up a new pump at UPS today at lunch this replacement only lasted a year & on hold for about an 1hr., then I was asked 50 million questions if they look at the records I have had the pump for 10 years and they must think I have no brain about how to treat my diabetes customer service is not good at Mini-med
MAO in AZ...