El Bastardo Comes Home To The King of Neon

Two years ago when I named my original Orbea "The Master of Disaster," I couldn't have predicted how fitting a name that would become. At the time Coach Egg, who was training me for IMLP, used to hear mechanical problem after mechanical problem about the bike. A short list of highlights include:


1. On Route 9W in NY my front derailleur slid down getting stuck on my big ring; not knowing nearly as much about bikes as I do now, I had to ride for 20 miles in a single gear to get it back to the shop.

2. During my first full triathlon my seat came loose causing unreal back spasms because I used my hip abductors to keep my saddle in place for the entire bike leg.

3. During Mooseman in 2008 the evil front derailleur struck again and again; I was relegated to my little ring for the entire bike leg. My quads are not made for the little ring.

4. Shortly after Mooseman I left my parents house for a training ride and was shocked to find my aero bars in my hand but not attached to my bike, that was a fun slow motion crash; thankfully I was ridding up hill. Unfortunately this occurred right in front of my parents house; making my Mother who was already way more nervous about my biking endeavors than she was at any point during my football career completely neurotic about my long bike rides.

5. My crank coming loose during a training ride about 15 miles away from the car.

6. The final ride on "The Master of Disaster" at the Patriots Triathlon.

So yes, that bike lived up to the name well, but it had to endure a hard death. Last week in order for Orbea to send out my new frame I had to render "The Master of Disaster," unrideable. With steak knife and meat tenderizer in hand I cut and struck until the top tube was no more. I cried as I killed my baby, whispering to it that it would be ok; that this was for the best, that it was going to a better place to ride and play with other "Masters of Disasters."

The times were great on that frame and I will miss it dearly. I have no idea how many hours or miles I spent on that frame; although I think hours spent on that frame are probably pretty close to hours spent on my bed! I will miss it dearly, but sometimes things need to be sent out to pastier and with that El Bastardo was born!

Some things to note about El Bastardo - I have gone with he more refined black bar tape as opposed to white on the "Master". I am no longer pure and innocent on my bike, so I felt black was more fitting for my sadistic demeanor as I hammer. The cable housings are silver, for the amount of money I spent I felt I deserved just a little bit of bling! And I have decided to give the Speedfil a try! I was always frustrated with the Aerodrink and now that my bike fit is so much more compact the Aerodrink straw would kind of poke me in the face and there was no room for my Garmin with it. About a year ago the Speedfil came out and has been met with some pretty good reviews (will receive it this week). Hopefully this solves all my sweat mongering hydration issues.

My first ride on El Bastado felt great; an hour and a half training ride with three - six minute zone 5a intervals. I took Kent out on the ride with me and we had a blast hammering away in the pouring rain on the Charlottesville streets. Saturday's training was pretty crazy; Coach Orton had me swim about 2000 yards (the main set was 2 500 yard zone 4b swims); followed by the bike; followed by a 45 minute run with 10, one minute half marathon pace intervals. Basically I did an olympic distance tri on Saturday! Blood sugar and nutrition was spot on; hopefully those good vibes follow me to the South Carolina Half, my A race for the season, on Sunday!

Prior to my full taper for the race I had to get in some much needed fun. Perhaps the biggest advantage a triathlete's wardrobe gives them is at a King of Neon party! Saturday night we partied it up, unlike most of my friends I didn't have to purchase one item of clothing (not sure what that says about my fashion sense!) - my bright orange wardrobe served me well. With how good I look in orange I may have to make drinking in spandex a regular occurance.