Back in Silver & Black!

Hello friends, miss me? My past few months away from blogging have seen me go through some tremendous life changes both diabetic and non-diabetic. I've switched pumps, left Keas, moved in with quite possibly the world's most perfect woman, got back into training and attended my sister's story book wedding. Not a bad 4 month stint!

The big diabetic news: I'm now an Animas pumper! I began to grow frustrated with the quality issues I had with my Minimed pump and simply lost trust in the machinery. When you depend on a battery and screw to stay healthy trust is a pretty important thing. Once my third pump of the year started acting funky I had had enough and made the switch. I'll have more on the transition in a future post but lets just say after 4+ years with one device the transition was anything but smooth. But I'm up the learning curve and my fancy shiny, silver & black, pump and I are getting along just fine.

The future of Ring the Bolus: My time away gave me some great perspective on what I want this blog to become. The first 2ish years of blogging was great, I felt like I shared some really relevant information with all of you and you all gave me some great feedback. The business school came, the job at Keas started and the quality of my blogging fell way off. I care deeply about the diabetic community and want to share my successes and failures with you all. So some simple ways I'm going to do that:

• Mondays - I will list my weight and current daily basal amount and highlight any big trends
• Wednesdays - Stories of frustration, not a week goes by without a D Event that drives me bonkers; I have more than enough to keep Wednesdays entertaining.
• Fridays - Training reports; I've started doing a bunch of different training stuff and the ways my blood sugars have reacted has been crazy.  Time to share the learning on all this!

Look forward to getting this conversation going again!

We only part to meet again

After a few months of struggling with this decision I've decided to walk away from Ring the Bolus. I bid you adieu but will not say farewell; my desire to share my fight toward healthy blood sugar management remains strong but for the next six or seven months that focus is firmly on trying to help Keas grow.

I hope you have enjoyed reading my stories of triumph, failure and learning as much as I have enjoyed sharing them. Over the past four + years you have all given me the extra will-power needed to become a 2x Ironman finisher. And have all helped me with the most difficult obstacle of my life; my diagnosis of type 1 diabetes.

If anyone out there was even fractionally inspired to test their physical limits while fighting a chronic illness then one of my dreams has been accomplished. Thank you for letting me share my stories with you and for all the comments and inspiration you provided me. We will meet again but for now thank you and good bye.

Having a little confidence goes a long way

Sunday I raced in the Berkeley Hills Road Race, my first cycling road race. The crits I did in January were fantastic and alot of fun but I'm not the most graceful individual so 4 tight turns on a course with 50 other riders isn't the most comfortable position for me to be in. I was really excited to test my legs in a road race and was enthusiastic about it all week. The big difference between the road race and my tri two weekends ago, I wasn't nervous, I wasn't anxious; I was just psyched to have the opportunity to have some fun.

The contrast could not have been more apparent between the two events than in their respective days before. For the Half Iron I made sure to have pancakes by 10am, and dinner by 6:30 pm. Dinner was quinoa and buffalo for the half iron; for the road race; a big a** Taqueria Cancun Burrito. Yes that had my blood sugars sky rocket to 345 the night before the race (never said it was a smart decision) but it showed that I knew life didn't have to be "perfect," to have fun in a cycling race. I left Katie and her visiting friends around 9:45 pm after our huge burritos and a day of drinking some wine (yes I also had some wine the day before a race!) to get into bed for my 6am wake up.

Unlike a triathlon I didn't have to pack for 3 sports; fill up 100 water bottles with my nutrition or get to the transition area at the crack of dawn to have time to prepare. I simply got to the race site about 20 minutes before the Cat 5s were to start, signed in and hung out - pretty sweet!

Cycling feels like a huge grass roots movement; there wasn't a huge speaker blasting music, race numbers are pinned on with safety pins and while everyone has a sweet bike they aren't displayed as art pieces they are a piece of athletic equipment. Although unlike triathlon where I'm pretty close to the same height as most of the athletes I was a midget once again compared to the other cyclists - these dudes are tall! After taking 10 minutes to figure out which way my race # was supposed to be pinned on I was off to find a bathroom and get to the race start.

Race instructions were given, then the race started; just like that. No diving into frigid water, no getting punched in the face, just a clip and a pedal. I was a bit nervous right at the start and it took me a bit longer to clip in, I"m pretty sure it looked like this was the first time I had ever been on a bike.

The start of the race was pretty cool we followed a car out of the state park so I felt very much like a legit cyclist. Once we made it to the main road the car turned left, we turned right and were off!

For the first 5 miles or so I hopped to the front and tried to push the pace. I'm not yet well versed in the strategy of road cycling and some people had given me advice to just jump to the front and see what happened. I figured I could find another rider willing to push the pace with me and thin out the herd. In all about 50 riders started as Cat 5s, I think we had that down to about 30 riders by the time the "real" race started.

After the first fast 5 miles we were into Berkeley's 3 bears, bringing back memories from Lake Placid. I didn't really know the course so got caught totally out of position heading up the first Bear. As people were shifting into easier gears I had a water bottle in my mouth and was taking a breather. Within the first few hundred feet of the climb I had been gaped by the lead group; any chance for a top 3 finish was out the window.

Never one to give up I punched it trying to catch as many riders as I could. This course, NOT EASY! I think there was something like 1700 feet of climbing, most of it bunched together. After 1/2 of a lap where I pretty much rode solo to catch other riders I finally caught a few guys cranking away. This is where I learned the true beauty of cycling.

As I passed this group of riders, one of them hopped on my wheel. The idea in cycling is to do as little work as possible while still going fast. Drafting requires 1/3 the effort of actually riding as the rider in front cuts the air for you. The rider from Team Moustache and I took turns pulling for 30 seconds each, we were quickly catching other riders and having a blast doing it. Awesome learning experience and one that will have me much better poised for my next race.

In all I didn't finish first and I didn't finish last; I finished my first road race and couldn't be happier. Was an incredibly fun experience; can't wait to test my legs again on June 18th down in Santa Cruz.

Race Report: Napa Valley Half Iron - The Decision

I was dreading the Napa Vally Half Iron for the three weeks preceding the race. I knew that my fitness level was not as high as I'd like it to be heading into a race. I knew that my life had become busier than ever; that trying to build a business, develop a relationship and explore a new city had all taken priority over hours SBRing, and rightfully so. I knew that my passion for the sport was starting to wane and that my heart was not fully into triathlon anymore.

I proceeded like I would for any other race, I began waking up 15 minutes earlier each day starting on Tuesday. In the three days leading up to the race my sleep wouldn't cooperate and while I was waking up at 4:30 - 4:45 am I wasn't falling asleep until 11pm or later. The night before the race I had maybe 2 hours of sleep.

With blurry eyes, a splitting head ache and a pit in my stomach I drove to the race site early Saturday morning. I was silent for the entire drive, not because my intensity to do the race was peaking but because I was dreading toeing the starting line. It was becoming increasingly apparent that my heart and soul just weren't into the sport anymore.

Ever since my diagnosis of type 1 in 2007 I have fought tirelessly to prove to myself that I could accomplish whatever I wanted with a life changing disease. The way I mentally dealt with my diagnosis was signing up for an Ironman, and ultimately proving I could actually compete in an Ironman like I did at CDA. In my anniversary post I wrote that I was at peace with having diabetes, with having to test my blood sugars constantly and avoiding certain foods. I had mentally over come my diagnosis and had become 100% comfortable with everything it meant. While I still love sport and still love athletics I was realizing that triathlon was not what I loved anymore.

Once at the race venue the adrenaline kicked in a bit and for a few minutes I was excited to race. I went for my warm up run, got in my wet suit and did my warm up swim. But something weird was going on, I had one desire - to ride my bike. I did not want to swim and did not want to run I simply wanted to ride my bike, see beautiful sites, descend fast and climb hard. I stood at the starting line thinking how different it felt than starting CDA or even the start of a small race in South Carolina. Instead of feeling excitement and energy I felt dread and downtrodden.

We started in a time trial fashion, the fastest swimmer did the alleged 1.2 miles in 33 minutes (the water was brutal). My time was 42 minutes. I left the water my legs were killing me, I had cramps in my shin muscles, my feet arches and my calves. I tested and was at 118, I thought of stopping, I thought of not doing the one thing in the sport I still undoubtedly loved. My blood sugar spiked 6 minutes later to 154, I put on my cycling shoes and out I went.

From my first pedal stroke I knew this would be my last triathlon for a while. As I passed cyclist after cyclist I wondered why I didn't just focus on the one discipline that brings me almost as much joy as football did.

As I continued to ride the lack of sleep was catching up to me, my stomach was upset, I threw up a little in my mouth. I continued to ride, averaging close to 20 mph for the first 20 miles of the course, my back acted up a little bit but I pushed on. At one out and back I thought of heading back to the finish and skip miles of the race, just pull out without finishing the bike. I turned it into a training ride and kept fighting knowing I had my first road race the following weekend.

My speeds topped out at 28 on the flats, they slowed to 7 to 11 on the climbs. The course was brutal, my time 3:04, slow for me but respectful for a tough course. Not bad for a guy whose longest ride in the past 2 months was 50 miles. I can still ride, I can't still tri.

I got into transition, dismounted my bike and instead of jogging with my bike to my rack took a slow, long deliberate walk. The entire time I knew what was to come, the entire time I knew I was going to remove my timing chip the second I got to my rack.

I got to my rack, looked at Katie, smiled and asked "are you ready to drink some wine?" Her, knowing me so well smiled back and said "absolutely." She, unbeknownst to me knew for weeks that this would be my last triathlon for a while. She later told me she could see the joy in my face when I talked about cycling or went out for a ride but heard the dread in my voice when I would go for a swim or out for a run. She knew what I didn't yet realize, that I was ready to walk away.

I racked my bike, removed my helmet and tri top. I reached down, pulled apart the velcro and held my timing chip in my hand. It was as if a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders, I smiled as I knew it was time to take a break. I walked to the aid tent, and said "athlete 160 is turning in his chip." The two EMTs looked at me curiously, I responded "after doing something like 10 of these sometimes you just know it's time to walk away."

I smiled walking back to my bike. Triathlon has brought me so far, has helped me with so much has let me meet so many incredible people, has turned me into an endurance athlete. But for now, for this year I'm taking a break. I can't sacrifice what I need to, to train for tris and compete as I want anymore. Training doesn't bring the same smile to my face it once did, in a word I'm exhausted. For the next year I'll focus on what I enjoy so much. Its time to take a bit of a break; 3 days after the race I'm as happy as I was the second I turned in my chip, walking away was unquestionably the right decision.

This is going to be painful

For the first time since my first triathlon I have doubts not about my blood sugars but about my fitness level heading into a race. I've prepared as well as time would allow but working for a start-up, moving to a new city, and well in general living life have greatly conflicted with triathlon training. I have real concerns about a DNF for the firs time I can remember. I don't doubt that I can cover the distance of a half-iron, I've been there, done that. What I worry is that by the time I reach the run my legs will be so fried that I won't be able to move and a 6+ hour half-iron just isn't my idea of a good time. I've proven to myself everything I could have ever asked for; I now race for fun and enjoyment - but is that possible when life has so greatly interfered with my ability to train?

I've put in between 10 and 13 hours a week of training for this race, I've gone on a few bike rides of more than 55 miles, a bunch of weekend runs of 10+ miles and have gotten in some ok swims. The last time I had the opportunity to do a brick workout was some 2+ months ago and I've maybe hit 2 or 3 double workouts in a day over the past month and 1/2. At times I've been functioning on 4 hours of sleep and poor nutrition and other times I'll forget to drink water at work. Essentially, I've transitioned from a grad school student who had it made to a guy working his butt off to make it all over again. Kudos to all of you out there who have balanced life with triathlon for so long!

I honestly don't know what to expect going into Saturday. Part of me wants to bail on the race and just drink wine. Part of me says go out in a blaze of glory and just hammer the bike. Yet still part of me says go out there and race like a rational triathlete that has fitness even if its not to the point I'd like it to be.

I drove up to Lake Bayressa to ride the course on Sunday. I cut off an 8 mile out and back and did the 40 miles in about 2 hours. Not bad for a training ride but I have no clue if I can run after. Bricks take something I don't have right now, time. I have serious doubts going into this race after leaving CDA with so much excitement and anticipation for continuing to improve in the sport. I'm 4 pounds lighter than I was at CDA; have been running faster for distance than I ever have before and have been doing great on my days on the bike. At this point I just don't know if I can put it all together on race day and if I have the fitness to even put myself in position to do well. I can hold it together and push through but I was ecstatic last year when I finally turned the corner and was able to compete, not gut it out. Saturday might be another one of those painful days that takes me a bunch of steps back instead of a step or two forward - guess we'll see.....

All you need is ignorance and confidence and the success is sure

Mark Twain is the inspiration for this Triathlon and racing season. The combination of Coach E rubbing elbows with the rich and famous as he promotes Born To Run and my decision to work for a start-up post grad school has had me training myself. I'm self motivated enough to train consistently so getting out the door is never an issue. What is an issue is the ignorance I have for how important recovery is. My biggest need for a coach is to hold me back some so I'm not training till I throw up every day. But who am I to argue with Mark Twain, if ignorance and confidence are the recipe for success then this is sure to be my most successful season!

That ignorance was on full display a few weeks ago. With tired legs and a groggy mind I tried to push myself through a speed interval run. My goal was to run 6, 3 minute intervals at a sub 6:55 pace. I barely could muster the turn over to reach a 7:05 pace for those intervals and realized that my muscles were flat out fried. Since that time I've scaled back the intensity and gone for miles or just enjoyment and the results seem to be great.

My weight is down 4 pounds from IMCDA, I'm running faster for distance than I ever have and my bike continues to get stronger. Consistency in training has been a huge issue so I'm not sure how fit I'll be for my first half iron next week but I know my ability to perform is there. Working at least 75 hours a week really puts a dent in the consistency to train so I've had to be creative about what I can get in. This Sunday I'm headed up to the Napa Valley Half Iron course to check out the bike leg and see what I can reasonably expect on race day.

I signed up for this race with the intent of placing in the top 10, full discloser and the pressure is on. Had I continued working with Eric with the same consistency we had going into IMCDA there isn't a doubt in my mind a sub 5:15 half iron was within my grasp. Now I'm not sure, part of me is just praying I can go sub 5:30 again but part of me wants to push as hard as I can go to see what I can accomplish.

My blood sugars have been rock solid in training. The work I did to figure out how to train with blood sugars below 170 has paid huge dividends. I'm feeling much more awake, aware and consistent during longer days and my body is recovering a bit more quickly. The need for lower carbohydrate intake also helps me avoid some GI distress which I encountered in the past. Not entirely sure what to expect on the bs front on race day so time will tell.

So with that I have the confidence that I can perform and complete ignorance when it comes to my level of fitness for the start of this season. April 30th may be an incredibly painful day but I'm going into it with the same goals I had when I signed up for the race. The following week I'll race in my first road classic, 33 miles in the hills of Berkeley. I know I'll have fun in the races and I know I'll be racing for a cause, with the two most important things deeply ingrained in the reasons I do endurance sports its now time to translate that into some results.

I have become what I swore never to be....

A proud owner of a Cervelo!!!!

After two years lusting over sweet road bikes I finally bit the bullet and joined the legion of espresso drinkers. No longer will I be jealous of those on sweet carbon frames happily descending down Mt. Tam. No longer will I be terrified I'm going to be jilted off El Bastardo gripping my brakes for dear life as I fly down the descent to Stinson Beach. I now can go on bike shop group rides, happily shave my legs (too far?) and interject words like cobles, hammerhead and preem into my daily vocabulary. If Ksfka were writing today the Metamorphosis would not be about turning into a beetle, it would be about turning into a Roadie!

I still have had the opportunity to ride my beautiful new Cervelo R3 yet, that will come in Paso Robles this weekend. For now the yet to be named new steed is in a separate room from El Bastardo, I can't have the old guy getting jealous of his new brother.

Time to have some fun!